Praising our kids isn't actually helping them achieve more or have better self-esteem. In fact it's quite the opposite.
Psychologist Carol Dweck's research shows that when we tell our kids they're smart, they become preoccupied with maintaining this reputation and avoid anything they might not be good at right away. They refuse to put in an effort because that proves they're not so smart after all. Their self-esteem actually lowers as soon as they encounter something that is difficult, because they think they've reached the limit of how smart they are.
